


After

by lessthanpure



Category: Shooter (2007)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/M, Female Bob Lee Swagger, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, alpha!memphis, and memphis is pretty submissive, but swagger is dominant, omega!swagger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:53:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22459828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lessthanpure/pseuds/lessthanpure
Summary: After everything, Bobbi visits Memphis. Things get, well...Heated.
Relationships: Bob Lee Swagger/Nick Memphis
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. The Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swagger takes Memphis's offer up- she goes to visit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is beta'd so the grammer and spelling should be ok

“So, what are you going to do now, Swagger,” Memphis asks her. 

“I got some business to attend to. After that...I’m not sure.”

“Well. Look me up if you want,” he says, and extends his hand. In it is a piece of paper that she takes. On it is written a phone number and address. She pockets it.

She calls Memphis when she’s done and far enough away. “Memphis,” he greets.

“Hey.”

“Swagger?”

“Yeah.”

“You still have my address?”

“Yeah.”

“Come on by. I’ll grab a six pack.”

“Sure.”

Bobbi drives and arrives there. She barely raises her fist to knock when the door opens. “Hey,” he greets, smiling.

“Hey.” He stands aside and she walks in. She takes her hat off and holds it. Military habit. She hangs her coat up on a coat rack and puts the cap on it. 

“How’d the business go,” he asks.

“Well.”

“Good.” He cracks a beer and hands it over. She takes a long pull. “What now?”

“Not sure.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“Go back to Wyoming. Or someplace like it. Have a cabin, up in the mountains. Get another dog. Grow and shoot my own food.”

“Then do that.”

Bobbi scoffs. “I’ll be recognized.”

“And you won’t be in a city,” he raises an eyebrow. She takes another sip. He’s right. “I’m sorry about your dog.”

“Thanks.”

“And that sounds nice. Peaceful.” 

Bobbi just hums. “What about you? You gonna go back to the FBI?”

“No. Too much scrutiny, plus too much to explain. I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Bobbi thinks. “You could come with me.”

Memphis nearly snaps his own neck looking at her so fast. “What?”

“Your face was plastered all over the news, same as mine. If I’m not recognized as someone who tried to kill the President, you certainly won’t be recognized as the FBI agent I overpowered.”

“I’m not like you, Swagger. I can’t live up in the mountains.”

There’s silence for a few moments. “I could teach you.”

“I have family.”

“That’s different, then.” She nods. “Alright. But when I get settled, I’ll give you a call. Let you know where I am. You could visit. Just give me warning.”

“I appreciate that, Swagger.” He takes a drink. “What about Sarah?”

She shakes her head. “She’s staying in her house. Says she feels close to Donnie there.”

“Didn’t-”

“Yes.”

Memphis shuts up, finishing his beer. He gets himself another one. “Why don’t you stay the night, Swagger? I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“I appreciate that. But I’ll take the couch.”

“You’re a guest.”

“And I was a Marine. I’ve slept in far worse places than a couch, Memphis.”

Bobbi brings up a go bag and gets ready. She lies down on the couch and sighs. She doesn’t know how to feel about the fact that she can smell Memphis here. He smells like...hickory smoke. She goes to sleep with it in her head.

She wakes up with a gasp. She sits up, rubbing her head. She thinks on what woke her up. A nightmare, probably. But she doesn’t feel scared, or angry, or anything like she does when she’s jolted awake by one. She feels...oddly calm. Unsettled, sure, but calm at the same time. She frowns and closes her eyes, pressing her hands to her face and thinking. Her head snaps up. She’s in motherfucking Heat.


	2. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memphis takes her to the hospital.

“Shit,” she hisses. She can’t leave. Not without passing Alphas on the way. She has to wake Memphis up. She stands and goes to his door, and just like before, he pulls it open before she knocks. 

“Swagger, I can smell you.”

“Yeah, I figured. Look, can you take me to the hospital?”

“Yeah. Get dressed.” He ducks back inside his room and gets ready as she does. She gets into the passenger seat of his car and he drives to the hospital. She walks inside under her own power, steady. 

“Hi. I need a Heat room,” she says. 

“All of ours are taken,” the nurse at the front desk says. Memphis and Swagger freeze. 

“Pardon,” she asks.

“I can put you in contact with another hospital,” the woman offers. 

“I won’t make it that far,” she mutters.

“Swagger, what-”

“Look, I have sudden-Heat syndrome,” she says, turning to him, and that gets the nurse’s attention. “It comes fast and hard, and soon I’m gonna feel it bad. It’s either here or I find some corner to hole up for a week.”

The nurse looks between her and Memphis. “We have a Heat room for couples available,” she offers.

“I’ll take it.”

“Hospital guidelines say that a partner has to be with you. Sir,” she asks.

“It’s your call, Swagger.”

“Keep your knot to yourself.”

“Of course.”

“We’ll take it.” Another nurse brings a wheelchair, but Swagger ignores it and follows the woman down twisting hallways. She starts to pant and rubs her stomach. She’s cramping. Memphis reaches for her. “Fuck off.”

They reach the room and the nurse lets them in. “Aides in the far dresser.”

Bobbi goes to it and the nurse closes the door. Memphis looks around to find her rooting through the drawers. 

“Swagger, there’s a bathroom I can stay in.”

“Yeah,” she replies, not turning around.

He nods and goes, shutting the door behind him. He sits on the floor and tries not to smell the amazing scent wafting under the door. He breathes through his mouth, but then he just tastes it. He’s getting hard but ignores it. At least until he starts hearing Swagger whine. Alpha instincts are telling him to get in there, soothe away the hurt, bury himself in the Omega. He puts his fist in his mouth and digs his fangs in hard enough he tastes blood. He puts his back against the door and tries to remember his training. They trained him for Heat room tragedies, and how to prevent one. He closes his eyes and tries to imagine himself somewhere else. ‘Tries’ being the operative word. He can still smell Swagger, and that gets in his head. So he tries something different. He imagines he’s sitting with her in Wyoming. He saw her cabin plenty of times in the photos the FBI had been provided with to understand her better. That would explain why he smells her sweet caramel scent so close. He extends his arm to her and she leans into him, humming in contentment. He’s never heard her purr, but in his head she does. She leans up and noses behind his ear, scenting him. Her tongue peeks out to lick and his eyes fly open. Fuck, it’s not working. But he listens- the noises have died down. “Swagger,” he calls. He gets a sleepy mumble in return. “Can I come in?”

“Gimme a sec.” Rustling. “Yeah.” He gets up and opens the door, and she’s on the bed in a shirt and panties with a toy next to her. He blushes and she snorts, putting it away. He stands next to the bed, unsure. “Get in.” He takes off his shoes and does, sitting up. 

“So. Sudden-Heat syndrome, huh?”

“No pre-Heat plus an irregular cycle means it’s a bitch every month.”

“What about suppressants?”

“I’m one of the 3% they don’t work on.”

“Birth control?”

“They work, they just don’t regulate my cycle.”

“Some luck of the draw, huh?”

She snorts again, and the motion makes her curl up, grabbing her stomach. 

“Cramps,” he asks, reaching for her. She growls at him, and though he’s heard it before it still amazes him that it’s not the reedy Omega growl but much closer to an Alpha growl. 

“I’m not gonna do anything,” he promises. “Just rub.”

Swagger glares at him still. She remains curled up, even though it has to be painful. He takes his hands back and she slowly uncurls, stretching out on the bed. He just watches her, ignoring his instincts that are telling him to drive her through the mattress. He can scent her here, that perfect warm sugar smell of Heat and her own rich scent. 

“What do you want me to do,” he asks.

“Nothing. I don’t need you.”

“Never said you did. It’s not bad to ask for help, Swagger.” She looks away, and this Heat must be affecting her more than he thought because her normally inscrutable face is open. “Holy shit,” he breathes. 

“What,” she snarls, looking at him.

“You’ve never had an Alpha help you through your Heat.” She bares her fangs and he shows throat to her. That shocks her into lowering her lips. “I’ll do as much or as little as you want me to, Swagger. I can just stay here, hold you, go into the bathroom, or help you out.” He looks down without dropping his chin and she looks considering. She reaches up and places her hand on his throat, accepting the submission. She drops it to his chest and he lowers his chin. She slowly inches closer and he extends an arm. She huddles close, laying her head on his chest. He rubs over her back, and she stretches out, tangling their legs together. 

“Tell anyone about this and I kill you.”

“I would never.” Soothed, she reaches up and tugs him down to scent at his neck. He wriggles down and lies flat, and she makes a pleased rumble. She lies half on top of him and she’s hot. Burning hot. He rubs over her back, big circles with a light hand. She burrows down into him and he feels her breaths even out. She’s fallen asleep. Smug Alpha pride washes over him. She felt so safe with him that she fell asleep, trusting him to keep an eye out, even though he knows in a fight she’d be way better at him, even in the state she’s in. He settles down and keeps watch over her. 

A knock on the door startles Bobbi out of bed, only caught by Nick. “Hey, hey, you’re safe,” he says, and she gets back in bed. He pulls the sheet up over her and gets up, going to the door. He pokes his head out to talk to someone, and comes back with food. “Doesn’t look like much,” he starts, but Bobbi is  _ starving _ . She barely waits for him to put the tray on the bed before she starts eating. He stands back, watching her. It’s stupid instinct to feel safe around him. Instinct, she supposes, and experience. The guy’s a decent shot and a great spotter. He can call out trouble when he sees it and can watch her back. She finishes the food and guzzles the water. She sits back on her heels, content. He puts the tray on the floor near the door and comes back to bed, easily getting in. She pauses, and he extends his arm again. She gets in close again, settling in. He smells good. She inhales his scent, and the Alpha smell helps to soothe some of that instinct. Good Alpha. Alpha will protect me. She feels a sharp cramp and curls up. Nick moves before she does completely, rubbing gently. He must have done this before, because the pain eases. She sighs in relief. 

“How are you so calm,” she asks.

“I’ll be honest, I was getting hard in the bathroom. But now, seeing you like this...it’s all instinct telling me what to do.”

“You seem to know your way around Omegas.”

He shrugs. “One or two.”

Bobbi just hums, turning her head into him and breathing in his scent. He noses at her hair and scents her in return. They breathe there until another wave of Bobbi’s heat rears its head. She whines, turning into him. “This fucking hurts,” she complains. 

“I could stay,” Nick pants. Her scent is getting in his nose, winding around him. He pulls away from her, leaving the bed. “We’ll talk between waves.” He returns to the bathroom and tries his visualization trick again. But this time, it doesn’t work. Bobbi’s scent is in his nose, on him. He gives in and puts his hand down his pants. He strokes himself to the sound of Bobbi taking care of herself. She cries out and his hand clenches, milking himself. He sighs and cleans himself up. Bobbi opens the door as he’s doing so, eyes wide. 

“Did you-”

“Yes.” She whines. 

“Fuck, that’s hot.” Nick scents the air and can smell Bobbi getting wet. Nick takes a step towards her, already stirring. Thank fuck he’s an Alpha. Bobbi grabs him by the shirt and tugs him back to the bed. He gets on top and stares down at her.

“Can I kiss you?” She nods, oddly shy. She pets his sides and he leans down, kissing her sweetly. She hesitantly kisses back. He pulls back. “Have you ever...kissed someone before?”

“Of course. Just...not in a while.”

He nods and returns. Bobbi parts his lips with her tongue and Nick obliges her, licking into her mouth. She purrs, and he feels it in his  tongue. He parts with her and drags his mouth down the center of her body. She doesn’t bare her throat for him. That’s fine. He gets to her panties and tugs them down. He gets his mouth on her and she whines, gripping his hair. “Fuck, but this is new.”

Nick sets out to make her first time good. From her chirping and purring, he’s successful. She cums on his tongue and relaxes against the mattress. He looks up, swallowing whats in his mouth and licking his lips. He wipes his mouth of the rest and settles next to her. She curls into him again, humming. “Thank you,” she murmurs. 

“Any time,” he smiles. She chuckles and presses her nose up against the underside of his jaw. 

“You smell good,” she tells him. “Like hickory smoke.”

“You smell perfect. Like caramel.”

Bobbi hums a laugh. She falls asleep again and he pulls her closer, going to sleep himself. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memphis knots her.

Nick wakes up first, trying to figure out where he is. He looks down and finds Bobbi asleep in his arms. He can smell her and remembers. He smiles down at her and scents her hair. She mumbles sleepily and stretches. She wakes completely and looks up at him. “Mornin’,” she greets, voice rough from sleep. 

“Good morning.”

She gets out of bed and takes her toiletries out, going into the bathroom. He sighs happily and stretches in the bed, humming. He hears Bobbi clear her throat and she’s leaning against the post, watching him. “Hey,” he smiles.

“Hey. Your turn.”

He gets up and she goes to her bag. He brushes his teeth with his finger and rinses. He drums his fingers on the sink. He should get clothes. He should. But Bobbi could want him. Maybe after a wave. Bobbi comes in the bathroom, brushing against him and knocking her hip affectionately against his. She starts the shower and Nick perks up, curious. 

“Easy, boy,” she laughs. “You need clothes first.”

“Maybe I can ask for some from the staff,” he mutters.

“Get some clothes from your place. I’ll be fine.”

“You sure? You don’t want me to stay until you have a wave,” he asks.

“I don’t usually have one early in the morning. As long as you’re back by lunch, I should be fine.”

Nick nods and kisses her. She smiles against him. He goes, passing an orderly in the hall. “Sir,” he starts. “You shouldn’t leave.”

“I know. But I need clothes, my toothbrush,” he details. 

“We have nurses who do that. If you give us your keys, we’ll do it.” Nick nods and goes back in the room, taking his keys off the side table and handing them over. He can hear Bobbi in the shower and opens the bathroom door. 

“Hey,” he greets. 

“Why are you back?”

“Apparently they do that for you.” He leans in the doorway and watches her shadow move. 

“Are you coming in or what?”

He smiles and strips, getting in. She hands him soap and he washes up before reaching for her. 

“I’m already clean,” she furrows her eyebrows. 

“Wanna get dirty again?” She laughs. 

“Not right now.”

Nick washes his hair and Bobbi gets out, drying herself and leaving the bathroom. He rinses off and gets out, drying himself and wrapping a towel around his hips. He goes to the room and finds Bobbi with her back to him, getting dressed. She settles in bed and looks at him. She gestures for him to come closer and he does, getting in bed. She tugs his towel down and settles between his legs, mouthing at him. He settles and leans his head back, getting hard. She licks up the side and he hums. She takes him in her mouth and swallows around him and he gasps. She’s good. She pulls off and wraps a hand around his base, mouthing again. She curls her tongue out to lick. His hips jerk and she chuckles, pinning him down with capable hands. She swallows him again and takes him completely down her throat. She gets him off and swallows. She looks up and he pulls her up, kissing her. She makes a surprised sound, but he licks his taste from her mouth.

“Memphis, what the fuck.”

“I’ve been with guys before.”

“Ok, but that’s...yours.” Nick shrugs and she settles over him. “That was hot, though.”

He chuckles and pulls her in for another kiss. She laps into his mouth. She trails her mouth sideways and bites along his jaw. He easily bares his throat for her again. “Why do you do that,” Bobbi asks, already going to it to kiss. “Most Alphas don’t.”

“I’m not most Alphas. Bobbi, you’re more dominant than I am. Plus, I’d like to think that we know each other well enough that you won’t rip my throat out.” She chuckles, and he can feel it through her lips, which are pressed against his pulse point.

“You don’t know that,” she teases. She noses back up and tilts his head down to get access to his lips. She lazily kisses him and he smiles against her. She lays her head on his chest and sighs happily. 

“So, do you want me to help you through your Heat,” Nick asks, tracing a design on her back. 

Bobbi considers that for a long minute. “Yes. But we use condoms.”

“Of course. Knotting or unknotting?”

Bobbi thinks. “Knotting.”

“Ah, so I don’t have to keep my knot to myself then huh,” he teases.

Bobbi chuckles. “No.”

There’s a knock on the door and Nick gets up, wrapping the towel back around himself and going to it. A bag is pressed into his hands and the nurse nods at him before turning around. Nick comes back and gets into pajama pants, though he forgoes boxers and a shirt. 

Bobbi stretches out in the meantime, rolling into his warm spot. She breathes in his scent there. She’s never been able to fully embrace the fact that she’s Omega, though she’s gotten the closest in her Heats. But Nick guessed right- she’s never had an Alpha to help. She’d always been in a hospital Heat room or holed up in her room, taking care of it herself. She’s never even had a Beta. Nick comes back and rumbles at her. She purrs back. Nick gets in behind her, wrapping an arm around her middle. Bobbi leans her head back, pressing her nose against the underside of his jaw and licking there. He settles, palm gently petting her. She knows rationally from sex ed that touch from an Alpha helps soothe Heats, but she never figured that it would help this much. That almost all the pain would go away, leaving only comfort and peace. She turns in his arm and presses her face into his chest, trying not to cry. Memphis senses it anyway. 

“Bobbi, what’s wrong,” he asks, cupping the back of her head. “What’s wrong?” Bobbi doesn’t answer him. “Swagger, I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”

Bobbi sniffles and leans back. She looks up at him, oddly shy. He’s staring down at her with such care in his eyes, and she kisses him. “Thank you,” she breathes against him. “I never thought-”

Nick sighs, relieved. “Of course, Bobbi.” He pulls her close and she settles, curling into him. 

Memphis smells when Bobbi is fully in a wave, even if she’s trying to smother her noises. He noses at her jaw and presses a kiss to the hinge. “I’m here,” he promises. “I’m here.” Bobbi whines at him and he pants, letting her scent wash over him. He pushes off his pants as she pulls off her underwear and her shirt. He grabs her hip, but she surprises him- she flips him onto his back and gets on top. Nick really should have known. She gets a condom from the bedside table and opens it, backing up just enough to roll it onto him. He helps- her hands are shaking. “C’mere, Bobbi,” he says. She grabs his base and lifts herself before slowly sinking down. She bites her lip once fully seated. He pets over her sides, murmuring soothing words he doesn’t remember the second they leave his mouth. Bobbi leans down and kisses him before she starts to move. Nick swears and is torn between closing his eyes to fully feel or keeping his eyes on Bobbi. She, meanwhile, doesn’t seem to have the same dilemma- her eyes are closed and her mouth is open, panting. He makes his mind up. He watches her. She’s so damn beautiful like this, and he can look at her all he wants without her noticing. 

_ Fuck _ is all Bobbi can think. What she doesn’t tell Nick- and likely never will- is that not only has she never had an Alpha help her through her Heat, but she’s never had an Alpha. Period. She’s had sex with a couple of Betas, but that’s it. She feels Nick thumbing her hip and moves one hand from his stomach to hold it there, stroking along it. He moves his other hand from her side to her clit, and she keens. “There we go,” Nick is saying, but she barely hears him. She’s not worrying about her past, or future, or anything outside this room, or even this bed. She just lets herself get lost in the moment. She comes, whining. Nick swears and thrusts up a few times before he follows her. She feels his knot growing inside her, and has a split-second of panic ( _ out out out, trapped, no) _ before Nick’s hands are at her hips and he’s sighing, relaxing into the mattress. Seeing her Alpha so relaxed helps, and she hums, petting along his stomach. She does her best to settle down, but she can’t get comfortable. She whines plaintively and Nick opens his eyes. 

“Can I roll over,” he asks. Bobbi is grateful he did because she nods. Nick nods, sliding his hands to her thighs and rolling them, hiking her legs onto his hips. The effect is instant- Bobbi purrs and relaxes, head going back. Nick is there, nosing at the underside of her jaw, and she has another moment when her training tries to kick in, but he leaves her throat alone and rests his head on the pillow beside hers, nose at her temple. She turns into his neck and breathes there. 

Ten minutes later, Bobbi is starting to get restless. She keeps moving her hips, trying to pull back, but Nick’s still locked in tight, and will be for at least another ten minutes, probably twenty. “Bobbi,” he whines- it hurts a little. She pets over his shoulders, apologizing without words. He lowers himself and kisses her, and she melts into it. That settles her for about thirty seconds, and then she’s shifting again. Nick grunts and pins her hips down. “You’re acting like you’ve never been knotted before,” he snaps at her. Bobbi flinches and looks down, hands spasming on his arms.  _ Oh shit. _ “Bobbi, I’m sorry, you should have told me, I would have warned you-”

“Don’t,” she snarls, snapping her head up. “Just don’t.” She angrily looks away.

“Bobbi. Look at me.”

“No.”

“Bobbi.”

She looks back at him, face hard. But again, her Heat makes her more readable- she’s hurt and embarrassed. He brushes their noses together, and she closes her eyes. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he assures her. 

“Easy for you to say, Mr. ‘I’ve been with a few Omegas,’” she snarls, eyes flying open.

“I said two, Bobbi. Two.”

“Two more than me.” 

“Bobbi, I couldn’t give less of a shit that you’ve never been with an Alpha,” Nick tells her. 

Bobbi scoffs. “Yeah. Sure.”

“I’m serious.” He sighs. He doesn’t know how to convince her that it’s ok. “Look. I know I’m not your first choice of Alphas,” he says, internally whining at the thought, “but I’m honored I was your first knot.”

“What are you talking about, ‘not my first choice?’” Bobbi looks honestly confused.

“I’m not exactly the most dominant Alpha, or the best-looking.”

“Nick. Do you honestly think I could ever be with some knothead?” She’s got a point. “And you shouldn’t say that about yourself. Everyone has a different opinion on what’s attractive.”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Nick, I am not about to start listing the things I like about you.” She pauses for a second. “Y’know what, yeah, I will, we have however long it takes your knot to go down.”

“At least ten, fifteen more minutes.”

“Shit. Ok, here goes, and don’t you dare tell anyone about how sappy I’m about to get because then I  _ will  _ rip your throat out.” He chuckles but nods. “I like you because you’re  _ not _ a dominant Alpha. You can be, but most of the time you respect my boundaries. Even today, when I was in the middle of a wave, you left so th at I could make a clear-headed decision if I wanted you to help or not. Most Alphas would have taken me right there, without even asking.” Nick growls, thinking of a) any Alpha coming near  _ his _ Omega and b) anyone ever making her do something she doesn’t want to do. She makes shushing noises, nosing at his jaw. He settles. “You even bare throat to me,” she whispers. He does it and she presses a kiss there before tilting his head back down. “You’re soft when you need to be, and strong when you have to be, and you watch my back. And this, right here,” she looks down to where they’re still joined. “Is something that most Alphas would brag about to anyone who would listen to them. I know for a fact that you never will.”

“Never.”


	4. Chapter 4

Nick wraps himself around Bobbi and she presses her back against him, molding herself around him. He pauses and then noses at the back of her neck. She sighs happily. He presses his forehead against the curve of her neck and listens to her breaths even out and deepen. He falls asleep soon after. 

Nick comes into the kitchen to find Bobbi already there, sipping coffee. He comes close and presses a kiss to the top of her head. She hums up at him, smiling. She shows throat to him and he noses against it before dropping into the seat next to her and eating breakfast.

The scene shifts. Nick is in the living room now, on the couch with Bobbi under his arm. He looks down, and she’s heavily pregnant. A little girl clambers into his lap, and he holds them close. “I can’t wait for our boy,” Bobbi says. 

He wakes up with tears in his eyes. He can’t have that. Bobbi doesn’t want that. He screws his eyes shut tight, but a few tears escape anyway. Bobbi doesn’t wake up but turns in his arms and noses at him, making little whining noises. He shushes her, pressing a kiss to her jaw. She whimpers, nosing at him some more. She opens her eyes and whines, wiping his tears away. “Alpha,” she whispers. 

“I’m ok. Go back to sleep.” She does, curled up into him. Nick stays awake. 

Bobbi stretches awake, yawning wide enough she shows her fangs. She opens her eyes, looking at Nick. She frowns. “You look like shit.”

“Didn’t sleep well.”

“I know those nights.” She noses at his jaw, mouth soon following. “What do you want me to do? You wanna talk?”

“No.” He pushes her away. 

“What’s up with you,” Bobbi asks.

“Nothing.”

“A wise man once said ‘I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.’”

“Sounds like an idiot.”

Bobbi sits up entirely, frowning deeper. “What is up with you,” she asks, reaching for his face. He snarls at her, and her face gets hard. “Fuck, fine! That’s what I get for trying to be nice.” She gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom, slamming the door. He rolls onto his back, glaring at the ceiling. He hears the shower start up, and doesn’t move. 

Bobbi doesn’t know what’s up with Nick. And honestly, with how he reacted, she shouldn’t give even half of a fuck. But she does. Much more than half a fuck. She sighs, leaning her forehead against the tile. She washes and gets out, drying. She wraps the towel around herself and steels herself before she goes into the main room. Nick is glaring at the ceiling, one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach. She gets dressed and crawls into bed, sitting astride his hips. 

“Swagger, I’m not in the mood.”

“Me neither.” She snaps forward, pulling his one hand out from behind his head and the other one up beside it. He stares at her. “But we are talking.”

“What the fuck do you care,” he snaps at her. “All you want from me is my knot, you don’t give a shit about me.”

“Memphis, hold up-”

“You call me by my last name.”

“I call you Nick most of the time.”

“Yeah, when you’re begging for my dick, Omega.” She lets him go, backing up and off of him. He sits up, glaring. Nowhere is the sweet Alpha she knows. This is a pissed-off Alpha, and frankly it’s scaring the shit out of her. She’s tired, and she’s weak, and she’s in Heat, and she needs him. 

“What do you want me to do,” she whispers. “Huh, Nick? What do you want me to do?” She swallows. “Show throat to you? I will. Get on all fours? I’ll do that too. But for the love of fuck, please,  _ please don’t leave.” _ He ignores her, pulls on pants, grabs a shirt from his bag, and slams the door behind him. She puts her head to her knees and cries for the first time in years. 


	5. Chapter 5

He takes a shower and washes his clothes, pissed that he can still smell caramel on them. He spitefully tosses them in the kitchen next to his trash and sits on the couch. He jolts up when he smells her there, too. “Fuck!” He flips the cushions over, and the smell is smothered. He sits down and watches TV. 

Hours later, he goes to bed, tossing and turning. He can’t sleep. He’s afraid if he closes his eyes, he’ll have the dreams again. The impossible dreams. He sits up and puts his head in his hands. He goes to the living room and watches late-night shitty TV until sunrise. 

He goes for a run. He doesn’t do it a lot, but it helps clear his head. And once it’s clear, he curses himself out. He goes directly to the hospital. 

Nick goes to the front desk. It’s a different nurse than it was (two? Three? Days ago). “Hi, my name is Nick Memphis, I’m here to see Roberta Lee Swagger?”

The nurse checks her computer. “I’m sorry, there’s no one by that name here.”

“No, no, she’s in the Heat room. The one for couples.” Clacking of keys.

“Oh, I see. No, she checked out against medical advice.”

“No, you don’t understand I  _ need her _ ,” Nick says. “And she-”  _ doesn’t need me. _

“I’m sorry, sir.”

Nick nods and leaves, already pulling out his phone. He calls Bobbi, but it goes right to voicemail. Either it’s off or she blocked his number. He dials Sarah’s number instead. 

“Hello?”

“Sarah. Have you heard from Bobbi?”

“You have some nerve asking about her.”

“Do you know where she is?”

“I’m not telling you. She called me, sobbing. She told me that you left her when she needed you.”

“Where is she?”

“I’m not telling you.” A rustling on the other end of the phone, and Nick’s heart leaps in his chest. Muffled voices, and then silence. 

“What do you want, Memphis,” Bobbi asks, and her voice is hard. 

“Bobbi,” he sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry, I-”

“Go fuck yourself.” Dial tone. 

Nick looks at his phone.  _ Ok, I deserved that. _ He gets in his car and drives. 

Sarah opens the door and points a shotgun at him. “Go away.”

“Sarah, please, just let me inside, I need to see her.”

“She doesn’t want anything to do with you.” Inside, he can hear Bobbi whining. His focus lazers in. His Omega is in there, in pain. “Now you best get to stepping, Memphis, because-” Nick grabs the shotgun out of her hands and unloads it, throwing it aside as he pushes past her and into the house. “Memphis, get out of my house!” He follows his instincts and finds Bobbi, writhing on a guest bed.

“Bobbi,” he gasps. She whines at him. He goes to her and gathers her into his arms, and she sobs into his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Alpha.”

Sarah drags him away from her, and he fights. She steps on his chest, pointing the newly-loaded shotgun in his face. 

“No, no, give him back,” Bobbi screams. “Give him back, please please, I need my Alpha,” she sobs. 

“Please,” Nick says, looking at Sarah. She grits her teeth and takes the gun out of his face. 

“After you take care of this wave, we are all having a good long talk.” She leaves and closes the door. Nick is up and on Bobbi in a second. 

She pulls at his clothes, Heat-stupid brain wanting them off but unsure how to make it happen. Her Alpha came back. He loves her. He came back. Nick pulls his shirt off over his head and kicks off his shoes, pushing off his pants and underwear. All she does is kick off her pants and panties and then she’s on him, sobbing against his mouth. He reaches for the bedside table and nearly snaps the drawer in half as he yanks it out. He finds a condom and puts it on, rolling into her. He’s on top this time, and they both sigh as he bottoms out.  _ Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. _

She whimpers, pressing them against his throat. Tears wet his skin.  _ I’ll never leave you again. _ They make love and Bobbi’s sobs turn to sniffles turn to purrs. 

He knots her and she comes. As soon as she comes down, she snarls at him and tries to pull away from him. “Get the fuck off of me, you prick!”

“Gah, hold up, Bobbi, you’ll hurt both of us,” Memphis yells back, holding onto her hips to still her. She bucks his hands off.

“I don’t give a singular fuck!”

Nick didn’t want to do this, but he forces her head to the side as she fights him and presses his hand down hard on her bonding gland. But instead of relaxing like all Omegas do, she snarls and whips her head around, sinking her teeth into his hand and making him howl. Sarah barges into the room, finding them trying to get the upper hand over each other. 

“Calm down,” she yells at them, but Bobbi just punches him in the face, knocking his head back. He gives up and lets her roll them over, showing throat. 

“You win! You win. But you can’t leave.”

“Like Hell I can’t.”

“No, I mean you  _ physically  _ can’t leave. You’ll never be able to.”

Bobbi snarls at him, but that lessens into growling. She sits up and puts her hands on his stomach, reminiscent of their first time. But instead of trying to get comfortable, she holds herself ramrod-straight, even leaning away from him. He reaches for her but she snarls. 

“Touch me and I kill you.”

He drops his hands slowly. At some point, Sarah had left (probably when Nick showed Bobbi his throat) and it’s just them, sitting in silence.

“Bobbi-”

“You don’t get to call me that.”

His breath catches in his throat. “I-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He closes his mouth. Bobbi only waits twenty minutes, until he softens enough to let her pull away. Just barely. He snarls at the pain and Bobbi yelps at hers. She yanks on clothes and walks out the door. Nick gets dressed too and follows her. Sarah is handing her a cup of water and Bobbi drinks it. 

“Bobbi-”

“What did I fucking say about calling me that?”

“Swagger,” he says, even though it breaks his heart to do it. She glares at him. “I’m sorry. I was a fucking idiot and I’m not leaving again.”

“Yeah the fuck you are. Right the fuck now.”

He whimpers. “I’m sorry. I just-”

“You just what, Memphis? Because absolutely nothing you can say right now is going to want me spend a second more with you,” she snarls, stalking forward.

“I love you.” Bobbi stops in her tracks. He gets on his knees and reaches for her and pulls her to him, burying his face in her stomach. “I love you, and I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t. Don’t do this to me,” she says, and her voice is full of tears. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything. And I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

He hears footsteps leave. Sarah. He looks up, eyes full of tears himself, and sees Bobbi looking down at him. “Why did you leave me,” she sobs.

“Because I got scared,” he admits. “I had a dream before I woke up,” he says, taking a deep breath. “Of us. In a house, our house, with a kid and you pregnant. And I knew that you would never want that. So I got scared, and pissed, and I pushed you away before you could do the same to me.” Bobbi drops to her knees and takes his head in her hands.

“You’re the stupidest fucking Alpha in the world.”

“I know.”

“And we are so having a talk when my Heat is over.”

“Yeah.”

“But right now, hold me.” She tucks herself into his throat, and he pulls her tight. She wraps herself around him, legs around his hips, and he barely manages to stand and go to the room that will be theirs. He closes the door and puts her in bed, getting on top of her. He noses at her temple and she pulls her shirt off over her head. 

“Bobbi, I can’t go again that quick. Not after knotting.”

“I know, I just need...skin.”

Nick understands- he wants to be touching as much of her as possible, too. They strip down to underwear and Bobbi curls into his chest. He wraps his arms around her and breathes into her hair. She’s touching him, all over, like she can’t believe he’s here. And that’s entirely his fault, Nick knows. Sarah knocks and Nick pulls the sheet up over her, feeling protective. “Come in,” he calls. Sarah comes in, expression guarded.

“Bobbi, I know you told me what  _ you _ needed for your Heat, but is there anything Memphis might need?” He notices the last name. 

“Same as me,” Bobbi lifts her face to say, resting her chin on Nick’s shoulder. “Carbs. Protein. Lots and lots of water. Gatorade, if you’ve got it.”

“You got it.” Sarah leaves again, shutting the door tight behind her. Bobbi presses her face under his chin, and he can feel her breaths against the hollow of his throat. 

Nick starts touching her, wide palms over her shoulders, back, hips, thighs, stomach. He also touches her face, and she takes one of his hands and kisses his palm. It does what she hoped it would- makes his shoulders soften and his fingers settle. “This doesn’t mean I forgive you,” she mutters.

“I know, Bobbi.” She nods and nuzzles his palm, and he slides it back to cup her jaw, his fingers going behind her ear. She relaxes at the contact, purring softly. He leans forward and kisses her, and she presses closer to him, hungry. She gets into his lap and he whines into her mouth. “Bobbi, I meant it when I said I can’t get it up again that fast.”

“Maybe...maybe I can,” she gasps, moving on his lap desperately. He can smell her getting worked up and he groans, long and low. 

“Fuck, do you want my mouth?”

“Yes, yes, God, fuck yes.” 

He nods and gets his knees under him, tipping her backwards until she’s against the pillows. He takes a second to admire her- knees open, wet spot forming on her panties, hair mussed. He lowers himself over her and kisses her again, dragging his mouth down her body. He shucks off her underwear and presses his mouth to her, extending his tongue. Her hands bury in his hair and he licks inside her. He wants to memorize her taste. 

He puts her legs over his shoulders and pulls back, lapping at her clit. She whines, higher than he’s heard her so far. He slides his fingers into her and licks around them, sucking at her. She whimpers under him and he looks up. Her head is thrown back and she’s panting. He slowly extends his tongue and then curls it, and her head snaps down to look at him, eyes dark and mouth wide. He rolls his tongue and she cries out and comes against him. He licks it up, bringing her down gently by rubbing her hipbones in circles with his thumbs. He pulls away, licking the last traces of her from his lips. 

“Fuck, get up here,” she says, and he obeys, going back up. She kisses him, licking into his mouth. He grinds against her, whimpering. He wishes desperately biology let him get hard again because he wants to fuck her so badly. She smooths a hand down his back and he rumbles, pleased. He pulls back and noses at her jaw, following the line with his tongue. “You have the best fucking tongue in existence.”

Most of the time, he would just laugh, but the sincerity in her voice just makes him kiss her again, showing her just how good he is with it. She gentles the kiss and he pulls back, rubbing noses with her. She settles at the content and chirps at him. She slaps a hand over her mouth, but he pulls it away. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he murmurs. “I like all your noises.”

“But it’s so...Omega.”

“It’s what you are.” She hides her face in his neck. “You hungry?” She nods. “Come on, let’s see what Sarah has.”

“After a shower?”

“Sure.”

He gets up and goes to the bathroom, setting it just how she likes it. He remembers from their first one that she likes it cool, which is crazy to him. But it’s what she likes. She plasters herself against his back, mouthing at the back of his neck. He puts his hand to the back of her head and rumbles again. She kisses it and steps around him, getting in. He follows her. He washes her reverently and she doesn’t stop touching him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Bobbi missed Nick. And now he’s back, and he promised he wouldn’t leave again. Some Omega part of her likes that, likes being taken care of, but the majority of her- the rational part- is still so angry at him. He just walked out on her. She had cried herself out (or so she thought) and then called Sarah. “Hey,” she had said.

“Swagger?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m in Heat. Nick was here but-”

“What do mean ‘was?’”

Tears had filled her eyes again and she had choked back a sob. “He left me.”

“He  _ what?! _ ” Sarah had taken a deep breath. “Where are you, Bobbi?”

“Mercy General.”

“In a Heat room?”

“For couples, but...they told me that I had to have a partner.”

“I will come get you.”

And she had- she’d been waiting for her outside the hospital when she got out after ignoring all the nurses and the doctor that tried to make her stay. But she had lied- said that she was going back to Nick’s place. And they hadn’t believed her, she could tell. But they couldn’t stop her. So she went with Sarah. 

When she got to Keene City, it was hard. A wave started and she tried desperately to take care of it herself, but it wasn’t the same without Nick, without his scent, without his touch. She had given up, just riding it out. And it sucked. But it passed. And then the next one started. But Nick came back. He came back, and he took care of her. 

She steps out of the shower and Nick follows, drying her. She gets dressed and follows him to the main part of the house. Sarah puts a plate of pasta in front of her, and Bobbi eats. It feels good to get something in her stomach- every time, she forgets how a Heat wipes you out. Nick eats, too, brushing their knees together under the table. She wipes her mouth and stands up, taking Nick’s empty plate to the kitchen and starting to wash.

Sarah glares at Memphis, even as he watches Bobbi leave. She grabs his elbow and drags him into the living room. She’s a lot smaller than him, but she’s satisfied when he seems to shrink in front of her. “Bobbi may have forgiven you, but I sure as Hell haven’t. It’s borderline abuse, what you did to her.”

“I know,” he says, voice quiet. “But you don’t understand-”

“I don’t want to. No explanation will excuse it, Memphis.” Sarah folds her arms. “I may be a Beta, but I took sex ed. They covered both Omegas and Alphas in it. And from what I remember, Omegas can barely function without an Alpha to take care of them. And I can’t even imagine what it’s like to have an Alpha leave in the middle of a Heat.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“You didn’t hear her sobbing on the phone with me. And then she was silent the whole ride here. Do you know how long that is?” He nods. “And she just shut herself in the room. I heard her calling your name, Memphis. She was  _ begging _ for you. I’ve never heard anything like it, and it broke my damn heart.” Memphis shrinks further. 

“I-”

“Shut up.” Memphis closes his mouth. “Swagger took two bullets like it was nothing, so I can’t even imagine the pain she felt that she was crying out for you to make it stop. Do you know what she said?”

“I don’t want to.”

“She said ‘Nick, Nick, please just come back. Nick, make it stop. Alpha, please,’” Sarah says. “She was  _ pleading _ .” Memphis slumps even further, almost curling in on himself. “So don’t you sit there and tell me that anything you did was excusable.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Good. Glad we’re on the same page.”

“But I-”

“No, Memphis.”

“Nick? Sarah?”

“In here, Bobbi,” Sarah calls. She comes in, looking between them. Swagger’s smart, she knows what’s going down. But she still extends her hand. Memphis looks at her and goes to her, taking it. She brings it up to her mouth and kisses his knuckles, nuzzling into it. 

Sarah watches them leave and gathers everything together, going out to get more food. She had printed out a list of what Omegas and Alphas need. It bothers her beyond belief that she has to shop for him, too, but she’s doing it for Swagger.

Nick and Bobbi get into bed, and she presses her back along his front, pulling his arm to lay around her. He wraps around her protectively. She sighs happily and is asleep within a minute. Nick stays up considerably longer. But he, too, drops off. 

He wakes up to Bobbi pawing at him. He looks at her- her eyes are fever-bright and he nods, taking his pants off. She’s already naked, and puts a condom on him. He rolls them and sinks into her in one smooth motion, and she sighs in relief. Moonlight is filtering in through the blinds, so he knows it’s late. But the white light lights her so beautifully that he can’t resist her. Not that he could normally, anyway. She whines, bringing him back to the moment.

_ Alpha, where’d you go _ , Bobbi wonders. She whines at him, hoping to bring him back. “I’m here,” he promises. She nods and kisses him, the wave making her clumsy. But he guides her, making it good, so good. She loves when he kisses her. When he does anything to her, really. He rocks into her and she chirps at him. She’s still embarrassed by the sound, but it feels so far away. Right now, it’s just her and her Alpha. She gasps as he rolls into her again and he licks into her mouth. Her Alpha is so good to her. Her Alpha will take care of her. Her Alpha. She pulls him closer and he does, laying against her completely, the only break in their contact is him pulling his hips back to make love to her. She clings to him, mouthing at his jaw. 

Nick rests foreheads with her and pants. He strums her clit with his thumb and she whines, coming around him. He follows her after a hard thrust and he knots. He settles on top of her and kisses her shoulder. She grumbles at him, sleepy. “Go to sleep,” he whispers, and kisses her forehead. She hums, and he rolls onto his side, bringing her with him. He puts his hand on her lower back and pulls the sheet up over them. She falls asleep and he follows her. He’d follow her anywhere.


	7. Chapter 7

Bobbi wakes up and stretches. Her Heat has broken. She slips out of bed, leaving Nick there, and goes to pull on clothes. She gets panties on before she spies his shirt in a corner. She goes over to it and picks it up, bringing it to her nose. She inhales deeply. It smells strongly of him- he worked out in it. She pulls it on and goes to the kitchen. The sun has barely risen and Sarah isn’t awake yet. She starts to make breakfast as quietly as she can. Sarah comes out first and they share a quiet meal together. Only when the dishes are done does Sarah speak.

“What are you going to do about him,” she asks.

“I don’t know,” Bobbi admits. She sighs. “He may have left, but he also came back.”

“Bobbi, he basically abused you. It would have been the same if he hit you. Worse, since you would have hit back harder.”

She huffs a humorless laugh. “I know. But this Heat hangover, it just...makes me want to keep my Alpha close, you know?”

“I _don’t_ know.”

“Right. Beta,” Bobbi mutters. “You ever get that period after sex when you just want to soak in the attention?”

“Yeah?”

“Imagine that, but tenfold.”

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt,” she drops her eyes to it. Bobbi nods, embarrassed.

“It was hard leaving him in bed, but he must be exhausted. Hell, I am too. I’m just used to having to force myself to get up and shake it off. I lived alone for so long.”

“Then why were you asking for him before he showed up?”

“I guess after you have an Alpha help, you can’t really do it yourself. I couldn’t even _orgasm_ without him.”

“And that never happened with any other Alpha?” Bobbi looks away. “Oh, hon. There’s never been any other Alpha, has there?”

“No. I’ve never been comfortable enough with any Alpha to even let them try.”

“But Memphis is different?”

“He’s not your typical Alpha. He’s so gentle and he shows throat to me and he takes care of me and he watches my back and he lets me take charge and he lets me touch the back of his neck and-”

“Shh, honey.” Bobbi hadn’t even noticed the tears in her eyes. Sarah rubs her back, and Bobbi ignores the instinct telling her to pull away, to go back to her Alpha. Speaking of which. 

“I need to sleep some more.”

“Of course, honey.”

Bobbi goes back into the room, and Nick is now sprawled on his back, still breathing deeply. She gets back into bed and lays against him. In his sleep, he pulls her closer, and her heart warms. She lays her cheek against his chest, feeling his heart beat under it. It’s a little fast. “I know you’re awake, Nick.”

He opens his eyes. “Can’t fool you.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Of what?”

“Nick.”

“Everything.” He reaches down and slips his hand under the shirt she’s wearing and up to her lower back. She arches at the contact, purring. He feels the tense muscle under his fingers and starts to rub. He’s at the wrong angle, but he works her loose the best he can. 

“This doesn’t mean you don’t have to talk,” she manages through her purring. 

“I already said my piece. We can wait out your after-Heat and then have a real discussion.”

She nods. She wants him, bad. She reaches down, but he gently pushes her hand away. 

“I think until we talk, we shouldn’t have sex.”

Bobbi sighs. “You’re right.”

“Get on your stomach.” She does, putting her head on a pillow and putting her arms under it. He gets on her back and works out her tense muscles. She melts under his capable hands. He lets her go and flops down next to her. She purrs at him. She inches closer to him and drapes herself over him, humming. She goes back to sleep. 


	8. Chapter 8

She’s on the ridge with Donnie again. “Swagger,” he yells. The helicopter comes, and he falls. She shoots it down and looks at him. He’s staring up at her with blank yet accusing eyes. “You did this,” his ghost whispers in her ear. “You let me die.”

“No. I didn’t mean to, I-”

“You let me die. I’ll never see Sarah again.” He buries a knife in her side and she wakes up screaming. 

“Bobbi! Bobbi,” Nick yells, pulling her to him. She thrashes against him, thinking it’s Donnie’s dead hands. But he holds her tight and she recognizes his scent. _Nick._ She pants, pressing her face up under his chin. 

“Are you ok,” Sarah asks.

“Fine,” she gasps. Nick pets her hair.

“It’s ok. It’s not real. Just a dream.”

“Not just a dream,” she mutters. “A memory.”

His hand pauses, but only for half a second. “Fenn?”

“Donnie.”

“You blame yourself.”

“Yes.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was theirs, Colonel Johnson and that Senator, Meachum.”

“I took care of them.”

“Good.”

“I thought the nightmares would stop.”

Nick doesn’t answer, just keeps up the soothing motion with his hand. Slowly, her pants even out and she pulls away, nodding. 

Nick lets her go reluctantly. Waking up to her thrashing wasn’t a comfortable experience. He hasn’t had a PTSD-triggered nightmare, so he can’t imagine how bad they are. _And_ he wasn’t on the job long enough to have _made_ friends, let alone lose them. So to have one murdered in front of you, without backup or any chance of help...he wants to curl around her and protect her from them, somehow take the nightmares into himself so she won’t ever have to have one again. Give them to him tenfold before she has another. “Sorry for waking you,” she says.

“It’s fine. Not your fault.” Bobbi slips out of bed, or at least tries to. Nick reaches out to her, gently enclosing his hand around her elbow. “Hey, where’re you going?”

“Living room. I can never get to sleep again after a nightmare.”

“I’ll come with,” he nods, getting up.

“No, Nick, you should get some rest and-”

“Answer me this- do you not want me there, or are you just worried about me getting sleep?”

She mutters “the second one” so low even his hearing barely catches it. He extends his hand and she takes it. He meets her at the foot of the bed and wraps an arm around her waist, walking with her to the living room. He lays on the couch and she fits herself around him, putting on something she finds.

Bobbi has no idea what she put on. Honestly, none. But the warm and comforting feeling of not only a body but her Alpha behind her is better than anything she’s tried after a nightmare. _I’m never letting him go_ , she thinks to herself. _That’s the hangover talking. He’s a dick._ _He left._ But that same voice replies. _He came back._ She ignores it and settles down into the couch. Nick starts petting her again, his warm palm sliding up her side from her hip to where her breasts are and back down again. She falls asleep to the motion. 

Nick chances a glance down when Bobbi’s breath evens out under his fingers. She’s asleep again. Alpha pride washes over him- he got her to fall asleep after a nightmare when it’s never happened before. He fits his hand into the gentle curve of her waist- it’s just his size. He falls asleep with his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent. 

  
  


Nick wakes up to the sound of pot and pans gently clanging together. He picks up his head; Sarah is making breakfast. Bobbi is still against his front, but awake. She turns, mouthing at the hollow of his throat. “Didn’t wanna wake you,” she murmurs against him. He rubs her lower back and pats it. 

“Come on, let’s get dressed.”

They go back to their room and get changed, coming back out. Sarah sets breakfast in front of Bobbi. Nick makes his own plate. 

“Feel any better, hon,” Sarah asks her.

“Yeah,” she nods. “I fell asleep again after the nightmare.” She starts to eat, and Sarah leaves her be. Nick puts his free hand on her knee and eats with his other. They finish breakfast and Nick washes the dishes.

“Is your hangover over yet,” Sarah asks.

“Maybe another day.”

“And then the talk with Memphis.”

“Yes.”

Nick comes back in and Bobbi reaches for him. He steps into her hands and noses at her temple before kissing her cheek. She settles at the contact, closing her eyes. She brings Nick back to their room and hugs him. 

“We should change the sheets for Sarah,” Nick mentions. 

“Smells like us. Tomorrow.”

She can feel the smile he presses into her hair. “Tomorrow.”

They get back in bed. Bobbi reads and Nick holds her, nosing at her hair. It distracts her every time. She doesn’t get much reading done.

  
The next morning, the hangover is gone. Bobbi gets out of bed and looks down at Nick, thinking.  _ He left me. He came back. He apologized. He shouldn’t have left. He said he loves me. That was the Heat sync talking.  _ She dresses and leaves th e room. She grabs a piece of computer paper and sits, making two columns- one titled Pros and one Cons. She’s done this before, but it’s mostly been in her head. She starts writing. 

Pros:

He came back. 

He apologized.

He said he loves me.

I feel safe with him.

He watches my back.

He got me back to sleep after a nightmare.

Cons:

He left me.

She can’t think of any other cons, but the one is a  _ huge _ one. Sarah was right- it’s a form of abuse, Alphas using Heats and their presence during them to control Omegas. It’s grounds for divorce.  _ But we aren’t married _ , she points out.  _ Then it’s better- I know he’s capable of walking away from me. So I shouldn’t trust him. _ She sighs and goes back to the ‘pros.’  _ I trust him. _ She taps the end of her pen against the paper and puts her chin in her hand. A hand lands on her shoulder and she grabs it, standing and forcing the person against the table she’s sitting at with their arm twisted behind their back. “Shit, sorry Sarah.” She lets her go. “I’m sorry. You startled me.”

“Hangover really is gone, huh,” she asks, standing and turning. “Mind if I take a look?”

Bobbi pauses but nods. She reads the list. 

“You know I don’t agree with this,” Sarah says.

“I know.”

“Just because he makes you happy,” she starts. “That might not be enough.”

Bobbi frowns. “I don’t understand.”

“You ever hear of battered partner syndrome?”

“When one partner gets fed up with the abuse and kills the other, yeah. It’s considered self-defense even if the partner is sleeping or something.”

“No, the part when the abused partner keeps going back.”

Bobbi scowls. “I can take care of myself, Sarah.”

“I know, hon, it’s just...you didn’t have to hear you crying for him to make it stop.”

Bobbi snarls, getting in her face. “Maybe not. But I sure as fuck  _ felt _ it.”

“You may remember the feelings, yeah, but you can’t remember pain.” Bobbi backs off. She knows Sarah’s right- she can’t even remember how it felt to be shot. She just knows that it hurt. And she remembers thinking that not having Nick there was twenty times that. Maybe more. She sits heavily in the chair again. 

“I know rationally what I should do.”

“Which is?”

“Kick him out on his ass and never see him again. What he did,” Bobbi trails off. “It’s inexcusable.”

“But?”

“It’s not unforgivable.” Bobbi puts her face in her hands. “God, why is this so hard?”

“Bobbi,” Nick calls. Bobbi picks her head up.

“Living room.”

Nick shows up, dressed already. “We need to talk.” He glances at Sarah. “Privately.”

Sarah looks at Bobbi, who nods. She goes to her room and shuts the door. Nick and Bobbi go to the living room. Bobbi sits in a chair, Nick the couch- they’re facing each other.

Nick drums his fingers on his knee. “I know what I did was wrong,” he says. “But when I had that dream,” he trails off. “When I woke up, I remembered everything that happened while I was awake. You calling me by my last name, only letting me close when you were in Heat,” he shakes his head. “It felt like you were using me.”

“Nick,” Bobbi says. “Look, I have  _ never _ had an Alpha treat me with anything resembling kindness. I got the shit kicked out of me at home, in school, in training camp, in the Marines, after that,” she lists. “So whenever I come across an Alpha, I distance myself. And you changed all that.  _ You. _ You treated me with respect and kindness and actually listened when I knew more than you did. And I don’t know if you remember, but I was starting a wave when you asked me if I wanted you to say. I was ready to say yes, anything to make it stop quicker. But you knew I wasn’t ready to make that decision, so you went to the bathroom. At that moment, I hated you. But when that wave was done,” she trails off. “I was in awe of you.” Nick watches her, shocked. He’s never heard her talk this much- it’s like pulling teeth with her. “And when you asked again, I knew. I knew you were the one I wanted to be my first knot,” she nods. “I wasn’t planning on telling you, but you figured it out. And yeah, it was confusing, and scary. But you helped me through it.” She pauses. “And then you left,” she whines. Nick closes his eyes and bows his head.  _ I know, Bobbi. I’m sorry. _ “And I blamed myself.” His head snaps back up. “I thought...maybe if I was different. A more typical Omega. You would have stayed. That you left because there was something wrong with me.”

“Oh no, no, no,” Nick says. “No, that wasn’t it at all.”

“It sure as fuck felt that way.” She sniffles and wipes the tears from her eyes before taking a deep breath. “Well. That’s enough sappy stuff from me. Now you.”

“When I was in college,” he starts. “I was a Heat partner for a friend. But I was their last resort,” he shrugs. “A few times, she even used a service before she called me. And when we were together, it felt like she was just...using me. Between waves, she’d kick me out of bed, wouldn’t let me stay close. I could tell she was hurting and everything in me was telling me to go over there, hold her. But she didn’t want me. And then one day, after her Heat, she turned to me and she said,” he trails off. “She said ‘Nick, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I never want you to touch me again.’” He whines just thinking about it. He had liked her, and to have that thrown in his face...it had hurt. He still thinks of it all these years later. 

“Sounds like a bitch.”

“I liked her. I’d tried to ask her out before, but she blew me off. And then after that,” he shakes his head. “She never talked to me again. She even lied and told all my friends that I hit her.”

“She  _ what _ ,” Bobbi snarls. “What’s her name?”

“Stacy. So, for the last year of college, I didn’t have anyone. Any person I got close to, she would sabotage. So I stopped trying.”

“Nick, I’m sorry,” Bobbi tells him. She comes to him and presses foreheads with him, rubbing noses. 

“I’m not saying that excuses what I did to you,” Nick says. “In fact, I’m saying that I’m even more of a dick because I know how it feels to be hurt like that.” Bobbi touches his shoulders and he relaxes. She gets in his lap. “So, I know I don’t deserve it, but can I ever make it up to you?”

“Nick,” she says, voice fond. “You already have.”

He looks up and she’s smiling. He grins back and kisses her. 


End file.
